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Blonde Girl ★ 3.8
Porno Bastards: Holli Would [v 1.3]
My son left this browser tab open and I'm trying to understand what he's been looking at. It's called something like Holli Would or Cool World, I don't know, the title wasn't clear. There's this blonde girl, very naked, and she just... bounces. That's mostly it. She rides you, that's the whole activity, but you can mess with sliders to change her hair color or skin or whatever. The customization thing is weirdly detailed for something so simple, you can rotate the camera too which just means looking at the same animation from a slightly different angle. I guess the "cool" in the tags refers to the attitude maybe, she looks bored in a way that's probably intentional. The art is that old flash game style, like something from Newgrounds that somehow escaped containment. It's deliberately rough around the edges, the animation loops aren't perfectly seamless and there's a jankiness that I think is supposed to be charming. Porn Bastards made it apparently, which explains a lot if you know their stuff. There's a pleasure meter you fill up and then you choose where to finish, inside or outside, very binary, very straightforward. No voice acting just some stock sound effects that loop awkwardly. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the background music was intentionally bad or just bad. It's this tinny little loop that made me want to mute the tab immediately but I couldn't figure out how, the controls aren't exactly intuitive. My son has better taste than this usually. The whole thing feels like a joke I'm not in on, some reference to a movie maybe? Cool World with Brad Pitt? I don't get it. She just keeps bouncing and bouncing and the bar fills up and that's the game. That's all of it.