About this game
Remember those old Newgrounds days? When you'd click on a flash movie and just hope your dial-up wouldn't crap out before the good part. This thing feels exactly like that. A crusty little tribute to the 80s cartoon, but with April O'Neil getting absolutely railed by all four turtles. The art is rough. Like, really rough. Lines everywhere, colors bleeding outside the borders, anatomy that makes you wonder if the artist has ever seen a human body. But there's something almost charming about it, like finding a dirty drawing in your middle school notebook.
The voice acting, if you can call it that, is just some guy doing terrible impressions. Michelangelo sounds like he's been chain-smoking for forty years. Donatello keeps saying stuff about "polymorphic algorithms" while stroking his... you know. It's so bad it loops back around to being hilarious. The whole thing is basically a slideshow with dialogue boxes, then one final animation where they all take turns on April. Cowabunga indeed. The cumshot physics are completely unhinged, by the way. It's like someone turned on a fire hose. April ends up looking like she lost a fight with a dozen glazed donuts.
I spent way too long trying to figure out if Raphael's sai was clipping through the bed or if that was intentional. Still not sure. The sound effects are stock library stuff, the kind you'd hear in a 2005 YouTube poop. There's this one wet slapping noise that loops about four times too many and it started making me laugh so hard I had to pause. For a game that's basically just a dirty joke stretched to five minutes, it's got this weird hypnotic quality. Like watching a car crash where everyone's a mutant turtle.