Beach tennis

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★ 2.6 (5 votes) 2.6K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The ball physics are completely fucking broken and I can't stop laughing. One of those blonde tennis girls, the one in the white bikini that's practically painted on, just hit a serve that went backwards. Like, directly behind her character model. Into the ocean maybe? Who knows. The ball just vanished and her tits kept jiggling for a solid three seconds after the animation stopped. That's not a complaint by the way. The jiggle physics got more development time than the actual tennis mechanics and honestly, respect.

Trying to figure out the power meter is a joke. You hold spacebar and this little bar fills up but there's no indicator, no number, nothing. Just vibes. Sometimes she taps it over the net like she's afraid of the ball. Other times she launches it into the stratosphere and the other girl just stands there on the beach, bikini straps slipping off her shoulders, looking confused. The collision detection is whatever. Half my shots clip right through the opponent's racket and she still does this little victory pose. The blonde one on my side keeps doing this stretch animation between points that makes her swimsuit ride up in ways that feel very intentional. The beach background is just... sand. Flat beige nothing. But the sweat effect on their skin. Wait what was I talking about.

The tennis scoring works I think. Or maybe it doesn't. Points happen when they happen. The red bikini girl has this serve animation where she bends over and the camera lingers for just a beat too long. You notice these things when the actual gameplay is held together with hopes and dreams. Sometimes the ball gets stuck in the net and both characters just bounce in place, breasts doing their own separate physics calculations. I left it like that for a while. No regrets. The arrow keys move your girl around but she kind of slides, like the sand is ice. Or maybe she's lubed up. Would explain the shine effect on those thighs during the close-up camera angles that trigger randomly.

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