Non Stop Billiard 2

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★ 4.0 (4 votes) 3.2K plays Instant Play

About this game

The cue ball hits with this dull thud through my laptop speakers, nothing like the real crack of ivory but somehow more satisfying? Like popping bubble wrap while someone whispers filth in your ear. That yellow glow when you connect right, the ball suddenly zipping across the felt, it makes my fingers twitch on the trackpad. Stupid thing keeps sliding off the edge of my desk.

And the girls. They're just standing there at the sides of the table, these two real model types, one blonde one brunette, wearing way too much clothing for what's supposed to happen. Every time I sink a yellow ball I catch them shifting their weight in the corner of my screen, and I swear the blonde one rolled her eyes at me during the tutorial. The physics are completely broken by the way. Balls will bounce off nothing sometimes, just ricochet off empty space like there's a ghost playing defense. Drove me nuts until I realized the game doesn't care about realism, it cares about whether you're watching the girls' straps start to slip.

Scoring is weird. You'd think it's just pocket the yellow ones, but no, the opponent AI has this habit of suddenly becoming a pool shark when you're one shot away from the next strip scene. I lost three rounds in a row and the brunette actually smirked, I'm not making that up, her face changed. The striptease itself is this awkward shuffle dance thing, clearly looped, but the way the fabric catches on their hips when they turn, that little resistance before it gives way. My screen's got fingerprint smudges right where their bodies appear.

The billiard part is honestly kind of garbage and I keep playing it anyway. White balls drifting around like confused fish, the yellow mechanic making no sense half the time, and I still haven't figured out if the opponent's difficulty spikes are intentional or just bad coding. Doesn't matter. Watched the blonde lose her top last night and forgot I was supposed to be doing expense reports. The game knows exactly what it's doing even when the balls clip through the table edges.

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