About this game
The dart sticks in the board with this dull thud that's somehow satisfying, like pushing your thumb through the skin of a ripe fruit. Not the sharp crack you'd expect. The disc keeps spinning, those 20 cards blurring past, and you're trying to line up a flush while some blonde with impossibly smooth looking skin watches from the corner of the screen. She's got this half smile that makes you think she knows something about probability you don't. The mouse click feels cheap though, no weight behind it, just this hollow plastic sound from my laptop speakers that doesn't match the visual of steel tips sinking into cork.
Got a full house on my third throw and the money counter ticked up to $87. The model shifted her weight from one leg to the other. That's the thing about this game, it's poker hands but you're throwing darts at a moving target, and the cards are arranged in this circle pattern that makes no logical sense. Why would the ace of spades be next to a three of hearts? The rotation speed changes between levels too, speeds up just enough to ruin your timing when you're close to $100. My bank account hit the mark and she started unbuttoning her shirt with these deliberate movements, like she's unwrapping something fragile. The fabric looked almost real, the way it caught the light when she let it drop. Real model my ass though, the animations are janky in that specific way that tells you they filmed someone and then chopped it into frames. Still. When her bra came off I missed my next three darts completely, the cards spinning past while I was distracted by how the pixels tried to capture actual skin texture.
The poker combinations are weirdly generous with the scoring. A pair pays almost nothing but a straight gives you like $40 and that's half the goal right there. I wish the dart physics made any sense, sometimes the aim is perfect and the game decides you hit the card next to it. Won't be fixed obviously. The blonde has this thing she does with her shoulder when she's down to just the panties, this little shrug that's probably meant to be coy but looks more like she's trying to dislodge a wedgie. The darts keep thudding and the cards keep spinning and honestly I forgot what I was going to say about the strip mechanics because she just reached $200 and now there's another girl and she's got darker hair and the dart board got smaller somehow.