Dawn hump humiliation

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★ 3.6 (744 votes) 136.4K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The whole thing’s got that bootleg energy, right? Like a video that’s been passed around a sketchy forum since 2007. Dawn loses a Pokemon battle and, shocker, can’t pay up. The animation is that stiff, looping kind where you can practically see the keyframes gasping for air. It’s set in a forest, I guess? Some green smudge behind them. The guy’s got her in doggystyle and the thrusting has the mechanical rhythm of a faulty windshield wiper. Creampie finish, obviously. There’s a weird detail where someone’s supposedly filming a sextape, which adds a layer of grime to the whole thing, but the camera never really acknowledges it. Missed opportunity for some real scumbag cinema.

The sound is what gets me. Or doesn’t get me. It’s just... there’s a looping grunt that sounds less like passion and more like a guy trying to move a heavy couch by himself. Dawn’s expression never changes. Dead-eyed, staring at the dirt. Which, I mean, maybe that’s the point? The crushing reality of debt? Probably not. The cumshot is hilariously overclocked, a physics-defying arc that would make a fire hose jealous. It’s the kind of thing you’d see in a parody where the joke is how absurd it is, but this plays it completely straight. I respect that, honestly. No pretension. Just a raw, unpolished loop of a bad decision.

Spent longer than I should have wondering about the economics of the Pokemon world. How much does a lost battle actually cost? Is there a going rate for this sort of settlement? The game doesn’t care, and neither should you. It’s a flash fossil dug up and put online. It knows what it is. A quick, dirty loop that delivers exactly one thing and then just... stops. No menu, no context, just doggystyle and a money shot. My brain retained the image of that weirdly smooth, shiny skin texture more than anything else. Like they’re all made of slightly melted candle wax. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Why’s the skin so shiny? Is it humid in that forest? See, this is the real horror. Not the act, but the unanswered questions about skin rendering.

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Comments (7)

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nice

SHITE MAN

I love dawn

Christoph

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