You Only Die TWICE v.03

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★ 5.0 (1 votes) 223 plays Instant Play

About this game

I tried to play this on my phone during a particularly dead shift at the office and the loading screen was just Brandi's tits bouncing in this weird hypnotic loop and I couldn't look away for like five minutes straight. My boss definitely saw. Whatever. You Only Die Twice is this messy horny fever dream about Lucian, some orphan turned secret agent who fucks for his country or something. The whole concept of seduction assassins is so stupidly hot I can't even be mad at it.

The writing is all over the place honestly. One minute it's this serious spy thriller about betrayals and the next Kevin is hotboxing the safehouse and rambling about conspiracy theories while Lucian gets a blowjob in the next room. There's this scene where Larissa, who's supposedly this deadly Black Widow that literally kills men with sex, just kind of gives Lucian a handjob while talking about mission objectives like she's reading a grocery list. The tonal whiplash made me snort laugh. Brandi's whole deal is being a rich blonde hacker with a voyeur kink and tits that have their own gravitational pull, she watches everyone through cameras and gets off on it, which is creepy but also the animations during her scenes are the best in the game so I kept clicking through. The ahegao faces during the creampie scenes are genuinely well animated, eyes rolling back and tongues out, proper exaggerated stuff that doesn't look uncanny valley weird. Kadasia barely shows up but when she does there's all this tension about why she retired young and I wanted more of that instead of another scene of Lucian getting teased.

The interracial tag is mostly Brandi and Kadasia, and the game doesn't make a big deal about it which I appreciate. Nobody's doing that weird exoticizing thing some adult games pull. Though the dialogue during the oral scenes sometimes sounds like it was translated through three different languages and then back to English. Kevin calls Lucian "my dude" approximately forty times and it stopped being funny then circled back to being funny again. Game crashed once right after a really good animated creampie shot and I almost threw my phone. The kinetic novel format means you're just along for the ride, no choices, which is fine because Lucian's decisions are all terrible anyway.

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