Stuck in Traffic

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★ 1.0 (82 votes) 5.9K plays Instant Play

About this game

You know what I actually miss from the old flash game era? That specific jank where you can tell someone just slapped together a concept because it made them horny and they didn't give a fuck about polish. Traffic Jam Strip is exactly that energy. The premise is so stupid it circles back to genius. You're stuck in traffic, but instead of road rage you get a blonde chick with a dildo doing a striptease on the sidewalk. Because why not. The "real model" thing is just some photos they clearly took with a phone camera, and the animations are like three frames total, but honestly that's part of the charm.

The actual gameplay is a traffic puzzle where you slide cars around to clear a path. Standard stuff. I spent way too long on level four because I kept getting distracted by the public strip show happening on the side. The logic puzzles aren't hard exactly, but they require just enough brain power that you feel stupid when you fail because you were staring at tits instead of planning your next move. The blonde model has this expression like she's mildly annoyed to be there, which is probably accurate given the production quality. The dildo makes an appearance and then disappears between scenes without explanation. Continuity errors in my porn game? Groundbreaking.

The sound design is basically nonexistent except for some stock traffic noises that loop badly. There's a car horn that goes off at random intervals and it scared my cat twice. I don't even have a cat. The erotic content is about as subtle as a brick through a window, which is exactly what I signed up for. The strip tease progresses in that awkward "I'm doing this because someone paid me fifty bucks" kind of way that you only get from low budget adult games. Is it good? No. Did I play through the whole thing? Yes. Will I remember it next week? Probably not, but that's not really the point with these things. The puzzle difficulty curve is all over the place too, some levels you solve in seconds and others make you question if you're having a stroke.

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