Girl For Fucky-fucky

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★ 3.2 (100 votes) 14K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

It calls itself a test. A psychology thing. But the first thing that happens is a girl with tits bigger than her head asks if I prefer them natural or fake. No buildup, no small talk. Just straight to the point while some generic hentai beat loops in the background. The whole setup feels like one of those shitty Facebook quizzes from 2012, you know the ones, What Kind of Bread Are You, except here the bread is a big titty anime girl who wants to know your stance on public groping.

The writing is what gets me. It's so unpolished it circles back around to being charming, like reading a horny text message from someone who's really trying to sound smart. One question asks about ideal date locations and the options are basically park, cinema, or my bedroom with the door locked. No nuance whatsoever. I picked bedroom obviously and the game was like ah, a romantic. Sure. The test mechanics are barebones, just clicking through multiple choice while a meter somewhere tracks your degeneracy level or compatibility or whatever. There's a cumshot tag so you know where this is heading.

I got matched with some purple haired chick who apparently loves "obedient partners" which, okay, red flag, but the reward scene was actually decent. Static image, nothing animated, but the art has that specific cheap hentai quality where everything is slightly off proportion but still gets the job done. The cumshot landed somewhere anatomically impossible. I respect that. The psychology tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, this is about as psychologically deep as a puddle after light rain. But I kept clicking. I wanted to see what other messed up pairings the algorithm would spit out. The relationship tag implies something deeper but nah, it's just fuck or be fucked with some personality types slapped on top. Still, for a browser game that probably took an afternoon to code, it knows exactly what it is. No pretension. Just tits and bad life advice.

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The whole thing runs on this janky charm where the 3D models look like they were rendered on a toaster from 2006 but the lighting on the skin, especially during the groping scenes, has this weirdly competent subsurface scattering thing going on. It's uncanny. You get dropped into a sandbox with a world map that has actual cities on it, which surprised me. There's a karma system that supposedly carries over to a sequel, so I spent twenty minutes agonizing over whether to be a dick to this one green skinned lady who kept teasing me through a viewscreen. The dialogue is written by someone who clearly mainlines tokusatsu and cheap philosophy in equal measure. One minute you're debating the nature of justice with a synthetic woman whose ass has its own gravitational pull, the next you're in a turn based battle that feels like it was coded in a weekend. The oral scenes have this particular jank where the mouth animations don't quite sync but somehow that makes it hotter? Like a bootleg VHS you found in your uncle's basement. I wish the map navigation was less clunky, the click zones are tiny and I kept accidentally groping a statue instead of the actual character, which, okay, maybe that's a feature not a bug given the tone. The soundtrack genuinely slaps though. No joke. It sounds like a lost cassette from an 80s sentai show that never existed, all wailing guitars and synth stabs. I caught myself humming one of the battle themes while doing dishes and had to sit down and think about my life choices. The multiple endings thing means I'll probably replay it, which is annoying because I told myself I'd just do a quick look. The AI CG stuff is obvious in places, especially hands, but the sheer volume of questionable women, like over a dozen apparently, means there's always some new disaster of spandex and bad decisions waiting in the next zone.

Comments (1)

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It was fun