Unshaved Fuck Game

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★ 3.8 (67 votes) 25.6K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

Right, so the Arrow button. Bottom right corner. That's the whole game basically. Click. Click. Click. My finger got tired before anything interesting happened, and I was playing on a trackpad so that's saying something. The promise is some crazy pokemon furry sex in a magical forest, and yeah, eventually you get there, but the journey is a slideshow made in what feels like MS Paint after a few beers. The art is... a choice. A deliberate one, I think? It's got that unpolished, almost shitpost energy that I can't fully hate. Like someone's first DeviantArt upload from 2004 got turned into a clicker.

The plot, if you can call it that, is just an excuse. Some tentacle thing happens. I won't spoil the intricate lore, but a creature gets wrapped up and then there's a cumshot. A creampie. The whole shebang. The animation, if you can even call it that, is just two frames sliding around. It's so janky it loops back around to being funny. I spent way too long just clicking back and forth to make the characters jitter. That was more engaging than the actual intended progression. The sound design is non-existent, so I had a youtube video about competitive marble racing playing in the background, and honestly, the marble race had higher stakes and better physics.

There's a "cheats" tag but I couldn't find any. Maybe the cheat is that you're playing this at all. I wish there was a button to just unlock the whole gallery, because the slow drip of one new static image per fifty clicks is a form of psychological torture. The enemy designs are just... vaguely pokemon-shaped blobs. One of them looked like a sad, melted Pikachu. I felt bad for it. Then a tentacle did something unspeakable and I felt worse. The whole thing is a fever dream you'd have after licking a used game cartridge, except it's a browser game so you can't even blame the metallic taste. It just exists, a monument to a very specific, very horny, and very unpolished vision.

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