Hoop-Net

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★ 5.0 (4 votes) 681 plays Instant Play

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I keep getting stuck on the way she looks at the camera during the pole dancing bits. It's not a real model obviously but whoever they got for the reference photos, she has this expression like she's watching you fail at catching stars and honestly that's the most erotic thing in the whole package. The game calls itself a strip blackjack thing but that's like saying a car is a cupholder with wheels attached. You're mostly just moving left and right catching these glowing star things that fall from the top of the screen. Miss three and the dealer wins automatically. Catch enough and you get to play a hand of blackjack against her. Win the hand and she takes something off. Lose and you're back to star catching.

The blackjack itself is broken in that way where the dealer stands on soft 17 but sometimes doesn't and I swear the RNG just decides you're losing no matter what. There was this one hand where I had 20 and she pulled a five card 21 and I just sat there staring at my phone screen like an idiot. But then she took off her top after the next hand and suddenly I forgot why I was annoyed. The animations between clothing states are basically nonexistent, it's just one image then another image with less fabric. The pole dancing loop plays during the catching phase and it's maybe six frames total, her hip movement is this jerky thing that would look terrible if the actual photography wasn't doing so much heavy lifting.

The star catching minigame gets weirdly intense after a while. They start falling faster and in patterns that don't make sense and you're squinting at your screen trying to predict where the next one will land. My thumb started cramping up during a particularly long session and I had to switch hands which is not something I expected from a game where the main draw is seeing some woman's tits. There's no progression system or anything, you just keep playing until you've seen everything or get bored. I saw everything. Then played two more rounds. The music is this generic lounge jazz thing that loops every forty seconds and it drilled into my skull so deep I heard it while trying to fall asleep later. Not in a good way.

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