Ibiza Nights

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★ 3.4 (116 votes) 27.6K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

Fucking ATM puzzle. I was there for a solid minute just clicking the screen like an idiot before I saw that orange question mark hovering up top. The phone number with the dashes. Who designs these things? It's a beach game about getting your dick wet and suddenly I'm doing data entry.

But that blonde though. The long haired one on Ibiza, sprawled out in her bikini. Something about the way she's rendered, this deliberate unpolished look that somehow makes it hotter than those overproduced 3D games where everyone looks like a plastic surgery disaster. Her tits. I mean they're huge, obviously, that's the point, but the physics or whatever. Not physics. There's no physics. But the way they sit. I kept clicking on her thinking something would happen and then it did and I forgot what I was complaining about.

The brunette is there too. She's fine. I guess. If you're into that. I spent most of my time trying to figure out if there was actually a sequence or if the whole thing is just click and pray. Sometimes the girls react, sometimes nothing. The beach setting is doing a lot of work here. Ibiza vibes or whatever. Sunbathing scenes that feel like they're from some forgotten Flash game from 2007 that someone uploaded to a sketchy site and now it lives forever.

You want to know if it's worth it? I ranked three other games this week and I still came back to this one. Not because it's good. Because something about that blonde won't let me close the tab. The hint system is right there mocking me with its orange box. I typed the phone number wrong twice. Twice. With the hint right there. Maybe that says more about me than the game.

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