About this game
Fuck, the art in this is deliberately rough, right? Like someone sketched it on a napkin after a few drinks. It's got that booty call energy, the desperation of 2am texting. Jake, the guy you're playing, looks like a thumb. The girls, though. The girls have these massive, ridiculous tits that defy physics in a way I genuinely appreciate. One of them, I think her name was... something with an M? She's wearing what I can only describe as a suggestion of a top. The whole thing feels like a fever dream of a horny teenager's notebook margins.
The core loop is basically a puzzle where you're trying to seduce these women over text, but there's zero hand holding. No hints, like the description says. You just get a phone interface and a list of bitches to call. I spent a solid five minutes just tapping the screen trying to figure out the exact sequence to get past the first "hey" without her ghosting. The humor is in the failure states, honestly. You pick a line that sounds smooth in your head and she just... leaves you on read. Brutal. It's a pickup artist simulator without the fedora, just pure trial and error. The choice system is so obtuse it circles back to being funny. I accidentally called the same girl three times in a row and her response got progressively more pissed off, which was a nice touch. The dialogue is so stupid it's brilliant. "U up?" levels of poetry.
Wait, I forgot to even mention the actual, you know, payoff. When you do finally crack the code for one of them, it's just a static image and some text. No animation, nothing fancy. But the build-up of just failing over and over makes it feel weirdly earned. My cat jumped on my keyboard and somehow that was the exact input needed to get the goth-looking one to send a pic. I'm not even joking. There's a whole meta-game of just clicking things in a specific, nonsensical order. The sound design is just my own sighing. Solid experience for a Tuesday afternoon when my brain is already half-melted from spreadsheets.