Lois Doggie-style

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★ 4.1 (35 votes) 130.5K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

Oh my god, the loading screen. The loading screen has this stretched jpeg of Lois where her face looks like it's melting off a pizza. I stared at it for like ten seconds wondering if my browser was broken. Nope, that's just the game. And then it starts and you hear this... sound. I don't even know what it's supposed to be. A loop of wet slapping mixed with a dial-up modem having a stroke? I had to mute the tab and put on a youtube video of a guy restoring old hammers just to feel normal again.

The whole thing is Quagmire railing Lois from behind. That's it. Five "different styles" which is a very generous way of saying the camera angle shifts slightly to the left or right while the same three-frame animation loop plays. One of the styles, I swear to god, just zooms in on her face which is frozen in this expression that's less "erotic bliss" and more "remembering she left the oven on." Her hair is this solid block of red that doesn't move, like a plastic helmet. Quagmire's head is perfectly spherical. I don't mean that as an exaggeration, it's a circle tool in MS Paint, I'm certain of it. The doggy style physics are so broken, his pelvis keeps detaching and floating half an inch away from her body, so it looks like he's aggressively humping the air behind her. Which, honestly, is the most in-character thing in this entire disaster.

You click a button, the loop plays, you click another button, the loop plays again but now there's a text box that says "OH YEAH" in Comic Sans. I'm not joking about the font. I spent a good minute trying to click on Peter's work badge on the nightstand because I thought it was a hidden button. It's not, it's just a smudge of pixels. The climax of the game, if you can call it that, is just the animation speeding up for two seconds before freezing completely, and you have to refresh the page to get it to work again. Peak gameplay. I've seen more interactivity in a captcha test. The whole thing feels like it was coded in a fever dream by someone who just discovered what a.gif file is.

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The blonde hair physics are nonexistent, just kind of a solid shape that moves weird when she bends over. For players who get the most out of this it's probably the ones who already know they're into the specific niche of futa self suck and don't mind a simple clicker style game wrapped around it. If you're here for the titfuck tag specifically that's actually pretty limited, more of a side thing than a main event. I kept waiting for more variety in the repair jobs but it's always the same three car problems. The mechanic simulator part is more aesthetic than simulation honestly but it gives enough structure that the scenes feel earned somehow, like you worked for that impossible flexibility display.

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Raju

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hi Goodmorning