Brothel 34

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★ 3.7 (197 votes) 91.2K plays Instant Play

About this game

The upgrade screen in Whoremaker is just a bunch of gray boxes with clip art coins. Looks like something a student threw together in an afternoon, probably while distracted by the very thing this game is about. And yet I kept clicking. Kept buying another elf girl with a dead expression, kept assigning her to the cheapest room, kept watching the gold counter tick up. Something deeply wrong with my brain, or maybe the game's just that effective at hooking into the lizard part that likes numbers going up.

The strategy layer is thin as paper. You buy workers, you set prices, you wait. That's it. No complex brothel layout, no skill trees that matter, just a spreadsheet pretending to be a fantasy pimp simulator. The hentai scenes unlock at a glacial pace, and when they do, they're static images with the same three expressions cycling. The dark elf twins looked promising but their scenes are literally the same pose with different hair color. I don't know what I expected from a game called Whoremaker. Actually I do know, and this isn't quite it.

There's this weird XP system that never explains itself. You gain levels but nothing changes except a number. Maybe it gates content later but I got bored before finding out. The management part is so barebones it makes those idle clicker games look deep. Still caught myself checking back every few minutes like a trained pigeon. The brothel fantasy setting is just window dressing, could be a lemonade stand simulator with different art. The art itself is competent enough, clean lines, anatomically improbable but that's the genre. Wish there was more to actually do with the employees beyond clicking assign and waiting for the coin sound effect. The sound effect is satisfying though, a little chime that triggers something primal. Probably the best part of the whole experience, that stupid chime.

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