About this game
Mai from ATLA is in this. Just standing there with her dead eyes and perfect aim, and suddenly I'm thinking about a routine where I'd peel off elbow-length gloves like I'm pulling throwing knives. The game doesn't even try to be smooth. Your character is this horny adventurer cooking Thanksgiving dinner in fairy land, which somehow involves bending Katara over a table and also there's Aunt Cass with those hips that make no biological sense. I started playing because someone said you can get a handjob from a Draenei and honestly, that's a sentence I never thought I'd type. The combat is turn based and completely whatever, you click and things die, but then mid battle there's a titfuck with a monster girl and I just... okay. The point isn't the sandbox exploration or the ninja fights, it's the jank. Everything moves like it's held together with tape and cum, and that's not an insult. During one scene with Elsa (yes, that Elsa) she's using a toy and the animation loops so aggressively it circles back around to hypnotic. I wrote down a whole choreography idea about that moment, the way her hips stutter. There's something about the unpolishedness that makes it hotter than a clean render ever could be. The groping section with Tinker Bell of all people? Ridiculous. She's like four inches tall and pouting. The audio desynced halfway through and I didn't even care.
What I can't get over is how many characters they shoved in here. Dexter's mom is giving oral in one corner while Squigly from Skullgirls watches and I'm supposed to be finding ingredients for this feast? The anal scenes have this weird thing where the collision just quits for a frame, then snaps back, like oh sorry my skeleton left my body for a sec. It made me laugh out loud and immediately start thinking of a burlesque bit where I pop my hip out of socket on purpose. The male protag is just a floating dick half the time, barely worth mentioning, but that's fine because honestly who's here for him. The Draenei's tail does something indescribable during vaginal that I've watched twelve times trying to figure out if it's a bug or a feature. Mother Gothel has a whole seduction route that feels like it was written by someone who peaked in 2008 deviantart and I mean that as a sincere compliment. This thing's replayability is weirdly high if you're the type who gets off on chaos and doesn't need animations to be smooth to be effective. Actually I take that back, it's not high at all, you'll see everything in one go, but I've already opened it three times just to check if I hallucinated the part where Midna joins a threesome with no setup whatsoever. Don't play this expecting a game. Play it like you're scrolling through someone's messy desktop folder of fantasy fucks and occasionally clicking next. That haphazard rhythm, accidental or not, is the whole meal. The turkey isn't even real turkey. It's probably a metaphor for tits. I can't confirm that.