POKER POOL 9

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★ 5.0 (9 votes) 433 plays Instant Play

About this game

The whole thing runs on a weird hybrid logic, like someone duct taped a pool sim to a poker hand calculator and then forgot to polish either. I'm tracking the exact scatter angle of the cue ball against the felt, trying to figure out if the RNG for the pocket drop is tied to the girl's current clothing state. It's not. I ran the numbers. 47 attempts on the first table layout, the redhead's bra comes off at exactly the same trigger point regardless of whether you sink the 8 ball with a clean cut shot or a messy bank. That's lazy coding, honestly. But then the brunette did this little shimmy where her skirt caught on the corner pocket and I forgot what I was complaining about.

The striptease rewards are the whole point, obviously. You're playing a bastardized version of pool where the balls have card values printed on them, and you're trying to collect a winning poker hand by pocketing specific combos. A pair of queens gets you a top reveal, a flush gets the bottom. The real model they got for the redhead has this freckle just below her left hip that the animation rig doesn't quite track right when she bends over the table to line up a shot. It's distracting in a way that makes you wonder about the mocap setup. The brunette's expressions cycle through a loop of three smirks and one surprised look that doesn't match any event trigger I could isolate. She just... does it. Randomly. Maybe it's a timer. Maybe it's a bug.

The poker side is barely functional. You can't hold cards, there's no discard phase, it's just whatever you sink is what you get. I spent twenty minutes trying to angle a shot that would give me a straight, only to realize the 10 ball was physically blocked by the brunette's discarded panties d*** over the side pocket. The physics engine treats clothing items as solid objects with collision. That's either a hilarious oversight or a deliberate troll. I'm leaning toward oversight because the ball clipped through her thigh in the next round. Still, watching her saunter around the table in just a choker while I calculate trajectory angles for a three ball combo is a specific kind of degenerate focus I didn't know I had. The reward scenes are looped animations with a single camera angle toggle. Nothing groundbreaking. But that freckle. I keep coming back to the freckle.

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