Superheroes Suck - v2.025 Public

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★ 5.0 (7 votes) 1.4K plays Instant Play

About this game

So I was scrolling through Itch.io last Tuesday, right, and my phone kept autocorrecting "superpowers" to "super poopers" which honestly would be a different kind of fetish game entirely. But anyway. This one caught my eye because the preview image had a woman with breasts that defied physics in that specific way where you know the developer spent three days sculpting them in Blender and forgot to add elbows to the male protagonist. You know the look.

The game starts with your guy being bored. Just aggressively bored. And then bam, meta-human abilities. I kept clicking through dialogue thinking okay okay when do I get to the part where I use telekinesis to accidentally lift someone's skirt but no, you actually have to meet your team first. There's this one MILF character, I think her name was Dr. something, who gives you a handjob in like the second scene and I swear the animation looped three times before I realized it wasn't a glitch, it was just... thorough. The jiggle physics on her chest during that scene made me laugh out loud which I don't think was the intended reaction but here we are.

The sandbox elements are weirdly compelling even though half the time I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. Something about crime fighting. I spent twenty minutes clicking on a coffee machine in the headquarters because I thought it would trigger a scene but it just made coffee. The vaginal sex scene with the redhead, I forget her superhero name, had this moment where her thigh clipped through the couch and I had to restart because I couldn't stop noticing it. You know when you see something and then you can't unsee it? Like when someone points out that Tom Cruise's teeth are off center. Same energy.

I wish the superpowers were used more during the lewd scenes honestly. Like you have telekinesis, my guy. Use it. But the developer seems more interested in the romance dialogue which is actually pretty funny in places, there's a line about hamsters powering the rendering machine that made me snort. The mobile version runs okay on my Pixel, though the touch controls for the sandbox navigation feel like trying to thread a needle while wearing oven mitts. Why can't these games ever get mobile UI right? I downloaded like six different adult games last month and every single one had the same problem with the back button being hidden behind the notch.

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