Internet Woman to Pound

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★ 3.5 (8 votes) 5.8K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The engine chugs like it's rendering a small moon on a potato. Frame drops during the first minigame, that weird pickup line choice thing, are genuinely impressive. Not in a good way. My phone, a Pixel 6, got warm enough to fry an egg after maybe ten minutes of tapping through text. Optimization is a foreign concept here, clearly. The whole thing feels held together with spit and a prayer, which I almost respect.

The pink haired girl, name's something generic, sends you a message and suddenly you're in this barebones dating sim. The core loop is just picking the right line from a list. Get it wrong and she ghosts you instantly, back to the main menu, no warning. The "right" answer seems completely arbitrary. I told her I liked her profile picture and she called me shallow. Reload. Said I was nervous and she called me a loser. Reload. Complimented her bio and suddenly she's sending nudes. The logic is fucked. There's a minigame where you literally trace a heart shape with your mouse or finger and if you deviate even a pixel, she loses interest. A fucking heart tracing test. My aim was shit because the detection box is smaller than the visual element. Pure suffering.

The explicit content is there, I guess. Once you crack the code of her insane personality, the scenes are static images with some text about what's happening. The anatomy is all over the place, a titty bigger than her entire head in one shot. The

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