About this game
You know what gets me about these strip poker games? The ones that pretend there's some deep strategy when really you're just clicking and hoping. This one doesn't even pretend. Cards spin in two circles, like a carnival game designed by someone who thought "what if poker but make it Duck Hunt?" You shoot the cards you want. That's it. No bluffing, no tells, just point and click while two women in lingerie watch you fail.
The redhead keeps making this face when you miss. Not disappointed exactly, more like she's already planning what to eat after this is over. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the blonde's hair moves when she does that little shuffle thing during the striptease. It doesn't. Or maybe it does once? I was distracted by how the pole dancing animation loops weirdly, like someone rotoscoped a video but gave up halfway through. The real model thing is... a choice. They're clearly actual photographs mapped onto models that move like action figures being posed by a child who hasn't figured out joints yet.
The shooting mechanic is satisfying in a dumb way. Cards drift past and you've got this crosshair and when you nail a good one there's this little ping sound that reminds me of Flash games from 2006. Not that I'm complaining. Sometimes you want something that doesn't require brain cells. The arcade tag makes sense now, it's basically Time Crisis for horny people. I kept playing longer than I meant to because I wanted to see if the poker hands actually mattered or if it's just random. Still not sure. The concentric rings thing means you're always second guessing which layer to shoot from and I swear the hitbox on the ace of spades is smaller than the others. Nobody's talking about this.