Pioneer of Krystal: Samus Fuckfest

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★ 2.9 (39 votes) 37.4K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

You know what's weird about this one? The loading screen. It's just... there. A blue button on the left. That's it. No fanfare, no menu, just this little blue rectangle waiting for you to click it while Samus stands there looking confused. Or maybe she's not confused. Hard to tell with the art style being what it is.

The animation loop is basically two dinosaur things going at it with this blonde trooper girl who's supposed to be Samus but honestly looks more like a generic hentai protagonist who wandered into the wrong franchise. The furries are... enthusiastic. Let's call it that. One's handling the front business while the other's positioned behind, and there's this rhythm to it that almost becomes hypnotic after a while. Click the blue button, scene advances. Click again, more of the same but slightly different angle. The cumshot at the end is about what you'd expect, nothing groundbreaking but it gets the job done.

I kept clicking that button though. Not because it was particularly good, but because something about the jankiness felt intentional. Like someone made this at 4 AM after watching too much Metroid hentai and decided "yeah, this is fine." The handjob segments are weirdly detailed compared to everything else, which makes me think the creator had priorities. Very specific priorities. The threesome positioning gets a bit awkward when the dinosaurs clip through each other, which happens more than you'd hope. Still, for what it is, a quick browser thing you stumble across and forget about twenty minutes later, it's got this strange charm. The kind where you're not sure if you're laughing at it or with it. Probably at it. Definitely at it.

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