Duplex Billiard 1x1

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★ 1.0 (25 votes) 1.6K plays Instant Play

About this game

This game is basically a mess and I don't understand who it's for. My kid could walk in and see this, it's just right there on the screen. The pool physics feel like hitting rocks with a wet noodle, the balls don't go where you aim half the time. But I guess you're not really looking at the balls are you.

There's these two women on the table, a blonde and a brunette, and they're going at it the whole time you're trying to line up a shot. One's got a strap-on that's just ridiculously big, like comically huge, and they're scissoring and moaning right where the 8-ball should be. The sound design is just wet slapping noises and exaggerated gasps. I muted it after thirty seconds because my neighbor probably thinks I'm watching something worse. The real model tag is doing some heavy lifting here, the faces look like they were pasted on from a 2005 webcam site. Uncanny valley stuff.

I kept losing to the computer because my cue stick would phase through the table edge. The lesbian action isn't even hot, it's just... aggressive. Like two mannequins having a seizure while someone plays a foley track of a dog drinking water. You can't skip it either. Every miss, every foul, the scene resets and they're back at it with the same looped animation. I just wanted to play some billiard but no, here's a close-up of a dildo that clips through a thigh. The whole thing feels like a joke someone made in a weekend and forgot to finish. Maybe that's the point? The unpolished look is a choice, sure, but it's a choice that makes me feel like I need to clear my browser history and apologize to my graphics card.

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