Dancing Queen: Sephiria Kiwami 2

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★ 4.1 (17 votes) 19.5K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The first thing that hits you is the music. It's not bad, actually, kind of catchy in a way that makes you forget you're supposed to be folding laundry. My phone is propped against the detergent bottle, one earbud in, and I'm tapping Sephiria's shoulder like a maniac while the washing machine hits the spin cycle. The whole thing is just clicking. Click her shoulder, click her thigh, numbers pop up like some kind of perverted cash register. I don't know why I need points. What am I buying? More clicking? It doesn't matter.

The navigation buttons on the right are a lie. I thought they'd take me to different positions or something, but it's more like flipping through a very short, very specific photo album. You get the blonde in her little uniform, then suddenly two guys are there and the whole dynamic shifts. There's a threesome scene where the clicking becomes almost frantic, trying to fill some invisible meter while Sephiria is busy with a dildo. My kid started banging on the bathroom door asking for a snack and I nearly dropped my phone in the toilet. I wish the mini games had more... I don't know, a reason to exist? You just click and numbers go up. It's the most basic thing.

But then you get to the group scene and forget all that. The art is rough, deliberately unpolished like the title says, but there's something about how her massive tits are drawn that keeps you tapping. One guy is doing one thing, the other guy is doing another, and you're just there clicking her stomach like it's going to make something different happen. It won't. The scenes loop. The points keep climbing. I still don't know what they're for. Maybe that's the point. Maybe I'll click more tomorrow during the dishwasher cycle.

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