Sumptuous Kitty Sim Date 7

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★ 3.3 (30 votes) 17K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The mouse click feels... cheap. That's the first thing. Not the good kind of cheap like a greasy slice of pizza, but the hollow plastic click of a toy from a vending machine. You're Slutty McSlut, a redhead with a name that tells you everything, and you're clicking on a map of a city that looks like it was drawn on a napkin. The whole thing has this unpolished texture, like running your finger over a slightly rough, un-sanded piece of wood. You can almost feel the pixels.

The quiz questions are where it gets weirdly sticky. A furry chick with purple fur asks you what the capital of some fantasy kingdom is, and if you get it right, her sprite does a little shimmy. The animation is janky, just a few frames, but the sound effect is this wet, squelchy pop that's so out of place it circles back to being hilarious. I spent way too long just failing on purpose to hear it again. The humor is the kind of dumb that makes you snort, a parody of every hentai quest ever, but the brunette barmaid's dialogue is surprisingly sharp. She calls you a "walking hormone with a map" and I had to stop for a second.

Then there's a quest to find a lost... something for a cat-girl. I forgot what it was. The point is, the game doesn't care about polish. It cares about getting to the next scene where Slutty McSlut, who is the sluttiest to ever slut, does her thing. The tactile feedback of a correct answer isn't a victory fanfare, it's the immediate, grainy image of a character's clothes just vanishing. Poof. No fancy dissolve. It's like a magic trick performed by a drunk uncle. You're not playing for a deep story, you're playing to see what absurd question comes next and what low-rent, strangely charming erotic reward is slapped on screen. It's a mess, a sticky, unpolished mess, and I can't say I didn't enjoy poking at it.

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my name is gay.