Guess Pole

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★ 4.2 (10 votes) 13.7K plays Instant Play

About this game

The upload feature is what got me. Not the memory gimmick, not the ten girls cycling through their introductions. I was messing around in the settings, found you can slap your own picture in there, and suddenly the whole thing feels like that club on 5th where I got thrown out for trying to touch the stage. You know the one. The fake velvet ropes and the bouncer who looked like a melted candle.

The game itself is basically a quiz with tits. Girls flash on screen with names, you memorize, then they come back and you gotta type the right one. Get it wrong and nothing happens, just a blank stare like you're some cheap tipper. Get it right and she strips, then pulls out a dildo and goes to town. The animations are deliberately janky, like someone filmed this on a phone from 2012 and then ran it through three compression cycles. I actually appreciate that. Too many of these games try to look polished and end up in the uncanny valley where the nipples track your mouse movement like security cameras.

The real model tag is doing heavy lifting here. These aren't rendered characters, they're actual women, and something about the low quality video makes it feel more authentic than those 4K productions where everyone's got the same plastic surgeon. I wish there were more than ten though. And the guessing gets repetitive fast, especially when you're just trying to get to the dildo part with that one redhead who actually knows how to work it. Her name's something with an M. Miranda? Monica? I failed her three times and she just stood there judging me.

The memory mechanic is supposed to sharpen your brain or whatever but let's be real, nobody's here for cognitive improvement. The strip dances are short, the dildo scenes are shorter, and sometimes the name input bugs out if you type too fast. Still loaded my own photo as the club background and now it's like I'm back in that sticky booth, except this time the girls actually remember I exist. Or they would, if I could remember their damn names.

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