The Pilgrimage CHRISTMAS 2023 SPECIAL

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★ 5.0 (4 votes) 1.8K plays Instant Play

About this game

The first time Tali gets properly fucked in this thing, it's not even Shepard. Some random turian on Omega, and the game just... lets it happen. No fade to black, no coy camera angle. Full penetration, her face mask fogging up, that little whimper sound she makes. I had to alt-tab for a second. Not because it was hot. Well, yes because it was hot, but also because my brain was doing that thing where you realize you've been playing a character for three Mass Effect games and now she's getting railed against a cargo crate for credits.

The corruption mechanics are what get you. Not in a "oh no my purity" way, more like watching someone's GPS recalculate after they miss an exit. Tali starts off doing her pilgrimage thing, trying to help the flotilla, and then Jedore shows up. That's where the sandbox opens up. You can fight, sure. Combat's janky but functional. Or you can let things slide. A little teasing here, some masturbation while thinking about what that asari said. The game tracks it all, and Tali's internal monologue shifts. She stops making excuses. Starts... anticipating.

Shiala's corruption scene broke something in me. Not the character, me. The way the 3DCG renders her skin, that weird greenish tint, and Tali just watching, then participating. Liara shows up later and it's almost worse because you remember her from the actual games, all earnest and nerdy, and here she's got her face buried between Tali's legs while Samara lectures about discipline. The big ass tag isn't lying, by the way. Miranda's model is ridiculous. Ashley's too. But it's the monster stuff with EDI that made me close the browser entirely and then reopen it five minutes later. The female protagonist angle means you're always in Tali's headspace, even when she's getting double-teamed by varren. That's a sentence I just typed.

The sandbox structure means you can miss entire character arcs. I didn't even find the anal sex path with the quarian admiral until my third playthrough. The animated sequences are surprisingly smooth for browser-based 3DCG, though the loading times between Jedore's combat sections made me want to throw my laptop. Not that I have a better solution. The game just exists, this weird horny artifact that understands Mass Effect better than Andromeda ever did, and it's free, and it's corrupting my search history.

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