Don't Stop

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★ 3.7 (6 votes) 3K plays Flash Arcade

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the dad character's advice is so bad it loops back around to being art. like when he's explaining how to compliment a woman and the animation just... freezes on her chest. not in a subtle way. the whole screen just stops and zooms. i actually laughed out loud which doesn't happen much with these games. the voice acting for the mom sounds like she recorded it in a bathroom while trying not to wake someone up and honestly that makes it better.

the big tits tag is doing some heavy lifting here. the physics are completely unhinged, like someone discovered the slider and just cranked it to maximum and walked away. during the restaurant scene when she leans forward to grab the salt and everything just... keeps moving for like three full seconds after she stops. i don't know if that's a bug or a feature but i'm choosing to believe it's intentional. the animation quality is deliberately janky, reminds me of those old newgrounds flash games where you could tell the creator was learning as they went. there's something genuine about that roughness that polished games miss completely.

the whole premise of following terrible dating advice from your parents is actually pretty funny. the dad tells you to neg her and then the game just lets you sit there in awkward silence while she stares at you. the mom's advice is somehow worse. there's this one moment where you can choose between three dialogue options and all of them are wrong. all of them. i picked "nice weather we're having" and the date just got up and left. the game doesn't tell you you failed, it just... ends. no game over screen, nothing. just back to the menu like nothing happened.

the soundtrack is just one loop that sounds like royalty free elevator music but slightly pitched down so it feels wrong somehow. i can't tell if that's on purpose or if the audio file is corrupted. either way it adds to the whole fever dream quality of the experience. the sound effects are stock sounds you've heard a thousand times before but placed in contexts that make no sense. why does opening the car door sound like a sword unsheathing? why does the kiss sound like someone stepping on a wet sponge? these are questions the game refuses to answer and i respect that.

the first date scenario is basically a disaster simulator and i mean that as a compliment. you can feel the creator laughing at you through the screen.

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