Fuck Town: Secrets of Psychology

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★ 3.3 (152 votes) 18K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The whole thing feels like someone started making a game and then just... stopped. Not in a broken way, but like they ran out of steam halfway through the restaurant. You're in Fucktown, which is exactly what it sounds like, and there's this blonde with absolutely massive tits standing by the hallway. The minigame is pickup lines, basically. You get options, she reacts, and if you're not a complete idiot you'll see those big naturals eventually.

I spent way too long on the second choice. It's one of those moments where you pick something thinking it's smooth and she just stares at you like you asked her to help with your taxes. The facial expressions are weirdly stiff, like everyone's slightly constipated. But the tits. Listen, I'm not made of stone. They're ridiculous in the best way, the kind of physics that make you wonder if the developer has ever actually seen a woman move. Which, honestly, probably not, but that's not why we're here is it?

The restaurant setting is barely there. A couple tables, some ambient noise that loops in a way that made me check if my phone was buzzing. You don't actually eat anything, which is a missed opportunity. Imagine a minigame where you're trying to seduce her while spaghetti hangs out of your mouth. That's not in the game. Nothing like that is in the game. It's just you, the hallway, and this stacked blonde who apparently has nothing better to do than wait for some random guy to wash his hands. The pickup minigame itself is fine, I guess, but there's this one moment where she says something and I swear the audio cut out for a split second. Maybe that's intentional? Probably not. The whole thing runs in browser so at least you don't have to commit to anything, just close the tab and pretend you were looking at something respectable.

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