Filthy Ernie Show Ep. 5

Leave a rating:

★ 3.6 (14 votes) 4.1K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

The whole thing with Ernie and that goddamn bucket, I didn't get it at first. I'm clicking through, right, and there's Buck, trying his luck with the new nurse, the one with the pink hair. She's got that whole Nurse Joy vibe but like, a version where someone drew her after a few drinks. My hands were clumsy on the keyboard, I kept missing the interaction points. Then I realized the game doesn't care if you're good at it. The shitting scene, when it happens, is so fucking absurd. Cecil just appears with this... device. I laughed out loud, a real ugly snort. The animation is crude, it's all deliberately wrong, but that's the point of the Dirty Ernie Show, isn't it?

Heavy Flo is just there, a wall of jealousy in a tight uniform, and I completely forgot about her until she's blocking a doorway. The sounds are the worst part. The splatter effects are so overdone, they loop weirdly. I spent way too long just watching the pixelated mess drip, trying to figure out if it was a glitch or a feature. It's a feature. Definitely a feature. The whole thing runs like a flash animation someone coded in a fever dream.

I kept thinking about the agreement. Ernie helps mess up Buck's chance, and the sexy nurse, she's supposed to... you know. The payoff is so broken. She does it, but it's this mechanical, unsexy thing that made my skin crawl in the best way. It's not hot. It's like a punishment for expecting it to be hot. The uniform textures are flat, the patient in the background is just a looped two-frame groan. I wish there was more of the new nurse, honestly. She just sort of... accepts the chaos. Doesn't scream, doesn't run. That blank expression after they get shitted on is what stuck with me. Not the blowjob, not the bucket. Just her face. What the hell is wrong with this game?

More like this

Parody ★ 3.0 Back to the Fuckture v1.0 Immerse yourself in a time-bending adventure filled with scandal and seduction where a young man juggles multiple illicit affairs amidst a backdrop of historical upheaval. Explore passionate encounters that challenge your loyalties and desires, all while delving into a humorous yet risqué reinterpretation of beloved time-hopping stories. - Varied love interests offering different challenges and pleasures - Decision-driven interactions that influence your romantic conquests - Graphic encounters emphasizing sensuality and erotic tension - Navigate a world where authority figures hide their own dirty games - Vibrant character designs set against a nostalgic yet twisted backdrop The blend of sci-fi parody and explicit romance creates an unforgettable experience that keeps you hooked. Balancing school life with secret trysts, you’ll explore how far you’re willing to go for love and power. Challenge yourself to conquer hearts and navigate treacherous social waters in this unique dating sim. Are you ready to rewrite history with your own brand of lust and intrigue?. Voyeurism ★ 3.5 Afterparty Nights Chapter 1 ugh, this one. unpolished is right, feels like it was coded during a lunch break where the dev was also, idk, doing his taxes. the ai cg thing is a gamble every click, sometimes avery's face looks like a melted candle, other times chloe's hand is just a blob of fingers. you get what you pay for, i guess. ehtan the photographer, what a wet blanket of a man. his girlfriend gets some comments online and he just stands there, camera in hand, getting a confused boner. the whole plot is this slow burn of him watching avery flirt at parties, the voyeurism tag doing all the heavy lifting. there's this one scene where avery's doing a livestream and some guy's message pops up, and ethan's internal monologue is just... chef's kiss of pathetic. you're a professional photographer, dude, adjust your aperture or something. the handjob scene comes out of nowhere, like the game suddenly remembered what it was supposed to be. the way the text stumbles into it, all clumsy and awkward, actually kind of fits? a real "are we really doing this?" vibe. then chloe's just there, in the background, a walking pair of exhibitionism bait that the game never really figures out what to do with. spent way too long clicking through dialogue that felt like a bad translation of a soap opera. the romance is about as spicy as a glass of water left out overnight. but then the party scene hits and suddenly everyone's inhibitions are gone, the ai art actually generates something almost coherent, and for a hot second i'm like "ok, i see the vision." then the next render loads and avery has seven fingers. the whiplash is real. forgot to mention the photographer tag is literally just his job, don't expect any cool picture taking minigames, it's just a reason for him to be a passive observer. classic. Anal Sex ★ 3.1 Innocent Fantasies - Season 1 Episode 1 The girl in this story looks at you like you’re the last person on earth who might actually listen, and honestly it hits harder than I expected for something where she’s also shoving a dildo between her thighs ten minutes later. You’re not some faceless “hero”, you’re basically the voice in her head that answers back, that little bastard that says “yeah, go on, touch yourself, nobody’s watching” right after she spends three screens talking about missing her mom and feeling broken. That push and pull is the whole mood here: one second she’s stuttering and hiding her big tits under a sweater, the next she’s on her bed, phone glowing on her chest, whispering to you about how wet she gets from imagining another girl’s fingers inside her. The 3D-style art leans into that, too. She never looks like a porn actress, more like that shy girl from art class who posts tasteful selfies on Instagram, except here you actually see her tits bounce when she grinds on a toy and the camera just stays there, a bit too long, like it’s also a pervert. Sometimes it’s almost uncomfortable, in a good way, like reading someone’s diary where the sad parts and the horny parts are written on the same page with the same pen. What I liked most is how her fantasies feel messy, not like a menu of sex positions some dev tried to tick off. There’s a moment where she’s sitting in the shower, hot water running, knees up, and she’s telling you she feels guilty for even thinking about anal while she’s still crying over an argument from earlier. Then her thumb slips lower and she keeps talking, half confession, half moan, and you’re just… there, nudging her through the dialogue options, deciding if she should lean into the pain or into the pleasure. You can steer her toward girls, toward guys-with-extra, toward toys, but it never feels like “pick lesbian route now”, it’s more like: this night she can’t stop thinking about that soft girl from the café, tongue on her nipples, or she’s obsessing over that futa fantasy she read online, getting railed from behind while her own fingers circle her clit. Oral, anal, masturbation, all of it shows up as thoughts first, porn second, and strangely that makes the actual animated thrusting and licking hotter. It’s not perfect, sure; sometimes the pacing drags, sometimes a line of English sounds slightly off like it came straight from Google Translate that forgot to be horny, but then she drops a quiet “please, don’t leave me alone tonight” while she’s riding a vibrator, thighs shaking, and suddenly the stiff sentence before doesn’t matter anymore. This is one of those games where a simple shot of her lying on her side, big ass half-covered by panties she’s too tired to pull all the way off, does more than a hundred acrobatic sex positions ever could, and the worst part is, I already know I’ll click the same wrong choices again just to hear her ask me why I made her do it. Big Tits ★ 4.0 Ana's Auto Fellatio v0.1 The car repair minigame is actually kind of addictive which is weird to say about something where you're clicking on a spark plug and then immediately getting a scene of Ana bending herself in half to suck her own dick. Like the loop is fix car, earn money, unlock new self suck animation, repeat. I spent way too long optimizing my repair speed so I could get to the next CG faster and at some point I realized I was treating the whole thing like a weird idle game. The sandbox part is thin but it works, you manage time between customers and your own... needs. The art is rough, hand drawn in that way where sometimes the anatomy goes places that don't make sense but honestly for what it's doing that almost helps. Ana's proportions are ridiculous, huge tits, huge ass, and the futa content is the whole point. There's a mechanic where you can play with yourself during work hours and if you time it wrong a customer walks in which I found more funny than stressful. The autofellatio scenes are the main draw obviously and they're animated enough to work, not super smooth but the expressions sell it. Some positions look genuinely uncomfortable which adds something, like yeah that spine is not okay but she's committed. I wish the business management had more depth because after a few cycles you've seen the loop and it's just grinding for the remaining CGs. The oral sex scenes with customers are a nice break from the self suck focus but there's only a few of them. The blonde hair physics are nonexistent, just kind of a solid shape that moves weird when she bends over. For players who get the most out of this it's probably the ones who already know they're into the specific niche of futa self suck and don't mind a simple clicker style game wrapped around it. If you're here for the titfuck tag specifically that's actually pretty limited, more of a side thing than a main event. I kept waiting for more variety in the repair jobs but it's always the same three car problems. The mechanic simulator part is more aesthetic than simulation honestly but it gives enough structure that the scenes feel earned somehow, like you worked for that impossible flexibility display.

Comments (0)

No sign-up needed - comments are posted anonymously (default name "Guest").