Meet and poke starlet mission

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★ 3.7 (122 votes) 18.6K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

Waking up in a cryo pod with a mouth full of cotton and a boner that could cut glass. That’s the setup. The ship’s AI, some chirpy voice with zero sense of personal space, runs through a diagnostic while I’m just trying to focus my eyes on the silhouette behind the fogged up glass. First thing I see when the lid hisses open is a pair of tits straining against a uniform that’s definitely not standard issue. The captain. She’s all business until she’s not, and the transition from “you’re the last man” briefing to her on her knees is, honestly, about as smooth as the game’s tweening animations. Which is to say, not very. The art has this rough, almost sketchy feel, like someone drew it left-handed on a dare, but the proportions are so absurdly exaggerated it loops back around to being charming. During the first deepthroat scene, her eyes bug out in a way that’s more slapstick than sultry, and the looping animation stutters on the downstroke. I laughed. Still clicked to the next position.

The whole “last man alive” thing is just a flimsy excuse to line up a conga line of needy crew members. There’s a navigator with an ass that defies physics and a thing for anal. The game doesn’t waste time with romance, it’s pure mechanical click-through. You pick a dialogue option that’s basically “be nice” or “be a pig,” and it funnels you to the same doggystyle scene with a different filter of grunts. The cumshot mechanic is a weird mini-game where you have to time a meter, and failing it means you just… dribble. Pathetically. The facial aftermath just sort of plasters a semi-transparent sprite over her face that doesn’t track with her blinking animation. It’s janky. It’s also the most memorable part. I spent way too long trying to perfectly center the mess on the engineer’s glasses. Wish there was a gallery to revisit that specific disaster, but there isn’t, so I just had to replay the whole boring lead-up. The sound design is a single wet slap on loop and a moan that sounds like a cat getting a pill. It’s perfect.

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