SexEd

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★ 3.2 (211 votes) 10.6K plays Flash Arcade

About this game

Right off the bat this game knows what it is. The title screen, it's like someone drew it in MS Paint while horny and then just uploaded it. No fucks given. You're the new teacher and the female students literally have one repeating animation where they sway side to side like perpetually drunk penguins. It's so jank I couldn't stop laughing, then I clicked on one and the dialogue was basically "wanna fuck?" with three heart icons. Zero subtlety, I respect that.

The core loop is a weird stat grinder. You've got charm and stamina and you just spam talk actions on these girls whose names I already forgot. There's a teacher's lounge where you can "rest" which I guess refills your energy for more... uh, dialogue. Managing your time between classes is the whole game. One moment I'm failing to seduce a purple haired chick because my charm's too low, the next I'm suddenly in a full on explicit scene because I clicked the right dialogue choice by accident. The scenes are static images, badly cropped, but the anatomy is exaggerated in that specific way that makes you go "damn, okay." No animation during sex, just a slide show with a moaning loop that sounds like it was recorded in a bathroom. Had to mute it, my neighbors probably already think I'm watching cursed content.

I wish the "seduce" tag was more than just raising a number until a meter fills. There's this weird RPG management thing where you buy items like "perfume" but it just adds 5 points. Boring. I'd rather the conversations had more wild, broken English options. "Your eyes are like deep pools of water i want to swim but i cannot swim" type beat. That'd fit the vibe. The Mrs. tag is barely there, I think one teacher NPC exists but she just stared at me and I couldn't even click on her. A phantom NPC, haunting the hallway. Classic. Anyway the whole thing crashes if you click too fast during a scene, so save your game by... oh wait, there's no save button, it's browser based. Just don't close the tab I guess.

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